Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t buy bullshit

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I can count

My ex got into a relationship within 2 weeks after a breakup. What should I do?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Two different time scales could increase quantum clock accuracy exponentially - Phys.org

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I have a reading level above third grade

Need a different reason to eat more fiber? How about microplastics? - The Seattle Times

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

About 700 Marines being mobilized in response to LA protests - CNN

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t cotton to rapists

Empowering Coffeehouse Leaders: Starbucks expands Assistant Manager Role across the U.S. - Starbucks Coffee

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

New Pluto-Like Planet Discovered In Solar System — What To Know - Forbes

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Bruins Hire Former Forward Marco Sturm As New Head Coach - NESN

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

What is the dirtiest thing you have witnessed your wife do?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

What do the Kamala Harris/Tim Walz campaign ads following Taylor Swift's endorsement mean?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

What are some tips for braiding a woman's hair on a date?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

How can consumers verify the power claims of light therapy devices?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I understand how hurricane paths work

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I can read

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I see through liars

I actually pay taxes

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have complete contempt for fakery